It seemed like trying only made him worse. At everything.
His joints hurt. His brain hurt. Everything hurt and every progressive thing he did on a daily basis only made him more tired.
Even taking breaks made him tired.
He finished his coffee and placed his glass on his wrinkled notebook next to his camera.
He was starting to feel envious of the old people he’d see practicing Tai Chi, sitting in their horse and balancing on one leg, in the park everyday at five in the morning. He wondered where they found the energy. Whether it was something inherent to everyone other than him. Whether he needed to return to the city to regain that enthusiasm for life and career he had as a teenager.
He stood from his chair, reached down and attempted to touch his toes.
He was a centimeter closer to his goal, and his lower back wasn’t bothering him.
He sat back in his chair.
There was a new email in his inbox from a coworker.
A request for a Database change.
He wondered if the old people in the park ever had to deal with annoying coworkers.
He replied to the message before leaning back in his chair and sighing.
He reached the conclusion he would never reach enlightenment sitting in front of a computer, answering emails. He would have to escape the 9 to 5 timeloop if he ever hoped to reach enlightenment. Enlightenment was just outside of his comfort zone.
He stood tall from his desk.
He would have to leave his comfort zone. That was the simplest, yet most frightening solution to his lack of enthusiasm for life. He would have to risk it all.
He claimed his coffee cup from his desk.
Time to make a change.
But first, coffee. He needed coffee.